Uncivil Rights

A BLOG rife with wit, sarcasm, and the endless joy which comes from taunting the socialistic and unpatriotic liberal left. Logical thoughts and musings ONLY need reply...unless you're really, really funny. You have the Uncivil Right to be an IDIOT. "Give me LIBERTY, or give me DEATH!"

Thursday, November 04, 2004

The Lost and Found

JK: Excuse me. I seem to have lost something, and I was wondering if it was found and turned in?

A: What did you lose?

JK: My voters.

A: Come again?

JK: My voters. I lost my voters. They were supposed to be at the voting booths yesterday, and they didn't show up. Did anyone happen to turn them in?

A: Uhhh...I really don't know what you're talking about.

JK: I lost about 5 million voters, and I was wondering if someone found them and turned them in.

A: Can you describe these voters?

JK: Well some are old. Really old. They're afraid George Bush is going to steal their social security checks. Are they here? No?
Then there should be some young people, about 18 to 25 years old, idealistic. They hate authority. No?
How about homosexuals? You know, the gays and lesbians who are afraid they'll have to go back in the closets because the conservatives are homophobic?
We're also missing blacks and poor white trash people. We had some, but not as many as Jesse Jackson and Bill Clinton promised. None? Maybe they stopped by earlier looking for subsidized housing or tuition, or reparations, or some other entitlements? No?
How about women? Young unwed mothers? Women concerned about losing their freedom of choice? or worried about the glass ceiling? Soccer moms? None of those either?
Any Hispanics? They probably don't speak english and are looking for all the rights and privileges of American citizens.
Or how about those people looking for free health care? They believe the government should provide free health care or at least make it affordable. No?
How about the mothers that are afraid of the "backdoor draft", or of Bush implementing the draft? Or the children afraid of being drafted? None of those either?
Well what about those people that think America is bad and are concerned about how America looks to the rest of the world? Any of those here? No?
Any anti war people here? They use words like quagmire, occupation, Viet Nam, and insurgents.
Certainly there are disenfranchised voters here! I just know it! There has to be! No? Really?
I don't suppose you have anyone that thinks the war on terror and Osama Bin Laden are one in the same? or the war in Iraq is a war for oil? or Bill Clinton was punished for having sex? No?
I bet you don't even have anyone shouting HALIBURTON! No? None of those? Really?

A: No, I'm afraid no one like that here.

JK: Wow. I don't really know what to do......I lost my direction....Is my direction here? I lost my direction.

A: No. Sorry.

JK: What about my values? Have you seen my values?

A: Are you sure you had them with you to begin with?

JK: Yeah...I think...maybe.....I'm not so sure now...

A: Then maybe you didn't lose those voters either.

JK: What do you mean?

A: Maybe you didn't have them to begin with.

JK: Hmmm...Maybe...I think I'm gonna go home and think about that.

A: You do that sir.

totalkaosdave, 5:22 PM